Tiffany and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Cyst

Yes, I have posted about this cyst before... but I felt it was appropriate for another post (an after-cyst-experienec post, if you will) as I soon get surgery to remove the darned thing. YAY!

Yes, it is true; the cyst in my right vocal cord has made life a living... H E double hockey sticks. I haven't been able to sing fully since last March. Auditioning for parts/shows was embarrassing, because of my cracking smoker voice. And even though I felt like my senior year was ruined, and the timing was awful... I learned a lot about myself.

I learned that life isn't about talents. Yes, it is important to develop your talents, but life isn't based solely on what you can do. There is more to my life than getting up on stage and singing, and I don't think I would have found that out so early if I hadn't had that pesky cyst. I probably would have been in my third year of a vocal performance major, in the middle of a private voice lesson, realized that singing isn't the be-all-end-all. Sure, singing is amazing, and I don't know what my life would be like without it.. but it isn't the most important ability I can ever possess.

I thought all I wanted was to sing and perform the rest of my life... but what do I actually want?

A family.

 Not saying that you can't have a family while being a broadway performer (as I was wanting), but it sure well isn't easy.

While in New York a couple of weeks ago, I had a chance to sit down with some of the cast members of the show Wicked, and ask some questions. A question came up, dealing with the balance of performing and family time. The answer was consistent; "there isn't much time for that sort of thing". When I heard that... I definitely felt my stomach sink. Having a family has always been a must for me, but it was never so apparent as when I was sitting in that theater. I feel my life coming to a crossroads, a time for a decision. I don't know what I would choose if it weren't for losing my voice.
Regional theater is always an option, but you definitely don't need an MDT major to do that. Sure, it isn't broadway, but when you are a performer, it doesn't really matter where, as much as what. I am now planning on majoring in English, as much as I hate to admit it, I guess Mrs. Drake had some sort of impact on me.
I feel like, for me, getting this cyst knocked some major sense into me. No longer is my life going to be about me and what I want, it's now about my future family. Don't get me wrong, I have ultimate respect for MDT majors. The load is definitely not light and they are phenomenally talented performers. It's just not for me. If my child comes home and has a question about 'The Count of Monte Cristo" or the 12 times tables, I don't want to have to say, "I don't know."
So yes, I hated the cyst and the singing ability I lost.. but it taught me things, and let me find things I never would have found otherwise... at least not at this point in my life. I guess my Heavenly Father knew that a gentle nudge in the back of my mind wasn't enough for me to change directions.

So I guess it wasn't THAT Terrible, Horrible, No Good, or Very Bad after all.

I Survived

Three years, eight shows, hundreds of rehearsals, thousands of hours of practice and sweat, and one final bow.

Thus is the life of a thespian, which is, an actor/actress. The above mentioned statistics sum up my BHS Musical Theater experience. I was in West Side Story as Betty, a Jet girl. All Shook Up as ensemble. Crazy For You as Irene. Cinderella as the Fairy Godmother. Oklahoma! as Gertie Cummings. And finally, Beauty and the Beast as Silly Girl #1, affectionately referred to as "Regina".

So much time was spent in rehearsals, learning lines, lyrics, and choreography. After all the time that was invested into shows that are now past.. I feel empty. Fairly satisfied by what I have accomplished, but still empty. And terrified.

Life is changing, time is passing. I am graduating high school in less than six months and it feels like yesterday that I walked in as an overwhelmed sophomore. I thought I was so grown up then... look at me now. I'm going off to college soon and will be living on my own, no parents to give me a curfew or to tell me to do my homework. Independence... and responsibility. More than I can even comprehend at this point.

Musical was my high school time keeper. Sophomore year's shows were to get my feet wet, test the waters. The waters felt very good. Junior year was the ridge between immaturity and maturity, or so I thought. I got both of the parts I wanted, and I thought I was unstoppable. Senior year hit a bump in the road, and my musical experience became less than desirable.

A cyst in my left vocal chord? How could this happen? Just as easily as one snaps his finger, my dreams were dashed. Singing was no longer a viable option, and musical became torture.. but I stuck with it. And with the passing of the shows, so passed time. Before I even realized it, it was over. I stepped forward in a line of seniors and took one final bow. Final. Such an incredibly scary word. Last. End. Final. The life I have known up to this point; gone.

When they announce the shows for next year, it won't impact me. Sure, I will come see them... but go through the audition process, possibly callbacks, choreography, dress rehearsals, mic checks, green room, opening night jitters, and striking the set? No.

I'm done with Bountiful High School Musical Theater.

And I survived.

Rain or Shine, I'm always a Brave

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730 days

I have a buddy. More than a buddy really.

He is serving a mission. In Tallahassee, Florida to be exact. I mailed him his first letter today. Odd. I watched a movie with him one week ago. Seven days. Add a three and a zero and you have two years.

Two years is a long time. I can't even comprehend life after my lit test on Friday, let alone starting my sophomore year of college. Two years is a long time.

So long buddy, enjoy the next phase of life. Keep me a part of it, okay? Write me every so often, keep me in the loop. I've been in the loop for the past five years. Please keep me in the loop.

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Tribute to July

Technically I am posting this in August. But my heart is still in July.

I always think of July as firework month. I love fireworks... A lot... so July is one of my favorite months.

This month has held the heart of my summer. Everything has happened in the last 31 days it seems. I went to girls camp, YASE camp, vocal appointments, made "On Broadway" company, and met some incredible people.

I am so blessed to live in this wonderful place... So here is my shout out to all of my ancestors and the pioneers for their overwhelming sacrifices to make my life what it is today. I don't know where I'd be without their love for the gospel and their willingness to follow the Lord's servants. I would probably be living in Boston, working in a clam chowder restaurant. Not that that is a bad thing, just not the right thing for me. I am sure plenty of amazing people serve clam chowder! Now that I have verbally dug myself into a hole...

I just wanted to send July off with a proper blog tribute. So here it is, my July blog tribute. It's like "candle in the wind"... Only a thousand times better. Gotta love Parks and Recreation.

What is this thing called... YASE?

So you may be wondering, what is this thing called YASE? Why do people post about it and freak out like little babies when it is over and post a million pictures of them wearing matching shirts? I was a skeptical person at first, I signed up and was ready to be ready for the week to be over after the first five minutes. Not so. YASE is incredible! It is the BYU Young Ambassadors Singing Entertainer workshop.

Jealous? You will be. 

The first day consists of orientation (blah) and auditions. Auditions didn't go so well for me... bummer. We learned sections from two different dances and then had to perform them for judges. YIKES! After that we had singing auditions. There were six songs and a line from each song. We were given about 2 minutes to learn each line and then had to stand in front of everyone and sing it. Some songs were sketchier than others. After auditions and dinner we were put into different groups. There were six groups and each group is given a song to work on throughout the week. I was in the white group and we performed "Heaven's Eyes" from the Prince of Egypt. I'm not going to lie... I was pretty ticked that I was put into that group. We had to wear robes and it wasn't as upbeat as some of the other songs. I absolutely loved my song and group by the end of the week! We were paired with the red group (performed "Just Haven't Met You Yet") for a combined song "It's Just Life". We did music and most of the choreography classes with the red group. We stood on risers and sang for them while they did "Just Haven't Met You Yet" and then sang for us when we performed.

The second day started out with an hour long dance class. You could pick between beginning and advanced. I decided not to push my luck and stuck with beginning. It was great! I got sweaty, which was not pleasant for the rest of the day... but it was a great work out! After dance class my group and the red group had music class. And then lunch (yummy!)... lunch was my absolute favorite part of the day. I ate lunch with Brian and Morgan on Tuesday. I met Morgan a few weeks ago at an auditions camp and Brian is a cowboy from Colorado... who likes to perform... Interesting. ;) After lunch the white and red groups had choreography... then more choreography... then more choreography. There may have been some singing in there as well. I just remember that I freakin' danced my butt off that day. Tuesday evening we had box dinners and went to the Pardoe Theater in the HFAC for the "Entertainer's Showcase". Basically everyone who wants to can perform. I was unable to perform in the showcase considering I was supposed to be on vocal rest this week and I was singing anyway... I thought it was best not to push my luck. I believe Brian said that 83 people performed. Yeah, it was a long showcase.

The third day... started out the same as the second day. Dance class. Then music class... then LUNCH! I ate with Brian. Yay for lunch buddies. After lunch we had choreography and then vocals and then we went to the recording studio to record for "It's Just Life". They played back our recording... and it sounded SO good!! Props to the red and white groups! For dinner we ate sandwiches and then boarded buses to go to "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels" at Hale Centre Theater. I sat by Brian and Morgan. I am seeing an odd trend... I should have made more friends. Oh well. We got a tour of Hale Centre Theater... which was SO COOL! I loved it... and I was blown away by the engineering of the stage and sets. Sounds cheesy, but seriously... it was incredible. They do amazing things with that little stage. Another thing I thought was super cool... we got to see the squares of fabric that are going to be Joseph's coat! Snazzy business. The show was freaking hilarious. Loved every minute... and the ending totally got me! Probably because I'm not a very good predicter... On the way home... Brian definitely put the moves on me. I was surprised because no guy has ever been that... forward with me. Props to Brian for being bold!

The fourth day (Thursday)... Dance Class. Music Class. Lunch. Choreography. Vocals. Performance Workshop. Dinner... was ridiculous. Since I was a commuter, I had to pay for this single dinner. The lady was rude when I told her I had to pay, which irked me... and then guess how much the lowsy food cost?! $10! I was disgusted. The food was nasty and pathetic. Maybe I'm just ranting now. After dinner I went to Morgan's apartment with her and we got ready for the fireside and dance. The fireside was AMAZING. Annalece (my voice teacher) sang the most beautiful song and it really brought the spirit, at least it did for me. Everyone around me was sobbing, which made me feel insensitive. I felt the spirit, but in an extremely calm way. After the fireside, we had a sweet dance. I danced like a freak... and it was SO FUN! I enjoyed myself quite a lot.

The fifth (and final) day at YASE began with music. Then choreography. We then travelled to the Pardoe Theater for dress rehearsal. We ate lunch and then we did all of our group numbers in costume. BAH! Then dinner was quickly eaten... and then... dun dun dun... THE FIRST PERFORMANCE! The solos that had the most vote from YASE participants were put in one of the two performances. There were some INCREDIBLE performers! Holy cow! They blew me away with how talented they were! Can I just say that when we sang "Lullaby", I was almost in tears. It is such a beautiful song... and to hear such an amazing group of performers sing it in unison? Breath taking. I loved being a part of such an amazing camp. After the first show... we reapplied makeup and deodorant and we performed the show again! My parents had tickets to the second show... and my siblings came too! I have such an amazingly supportive family. I am so lucky to have them! After the show I couldn't find my family... which frightened me! We went into the back hallway where everyone was meeting and I spotted my family... My dad's and brother's heads sticking a foot above the rest of the crowd. It pays to have a tall family... especially in situations such as this. After I said goodbye to my family, the YASE campers headed to the canon center where there was a party. We had a couple of hours of eating and laughing at taking pictures... then it was time for me to go. It was hard to say goodbye and I will always remember the people I met there! I made some incredible friends and had some wonderful experiences that will never be forgotten.

Slippin' through Summer

Summer has been great! I can't believe it is already July though... it just doesn't seem right! In the past month some pretty great... and not so great... things have happened to me! The last week in June, I went to an Auditions Camp. It was a camp that teaches you audition tricks and how to handle yourself. All week we prepared two songs and one monologue and each day we did a new dance combination for practice. On Friday we "mock" interviewed for Randy Boothe, Marvin Payne, Jennifer Madsen, and some teachers from the studio. The idea was that after we auditioned we would recieve a feedback paper form each judge on our audition. I decided to make my audition not quite so mock, and audition for Sr. Company, "On Broadway". I didn't think there was a flying-fart-in-space of a chance (thank you "The Kid") that I would be cast. But I was!! I had four days to decide if I was going to accept the chance... and I decided to do it! The rehearsal are two times a week from August 2011-June 2012. In June 2012 they go touring and perform in New York! It will be one heck of an experience.

Downside to performing... I have been having vocal problems. I know I know, I've been asked it all. Is it just a cold? Some allergies? Are you stressed? NO! I have looked into all of those things, and that isn't what is going on. It probably started with a cold I had in late April. Yeah, it's been going on for three months. Yay... I went to a vocal specialist on Thursday and it was a pretty interesting appointment, considering I had NO idea what to expect. They had me sing some of the Star-Spangled Banner, unwarm. But I felt like I did pretty good! :) They then stuck a camera that was on the end of a rod to the back of my throat and made me make sounds like "eeee" and clear my throat really hard. They recorded it and then I watch some of the video. It was pretty awesome... and disgusting to see my vocal chords at work! After they showed me the video, they said that there is a possibility of a nodule or cist on my right vocal chord, but they were too swollen to be sure. I have a week of vocal rest (yeah, right, no talking??) and mediciation I am supposed to take, and another appointment next week and the week after.

After the doctor, my throat was fairly sore, as they were sticking a rod pretty far back there for nearly three minutes. Brandon asked me how it all went and if he could do anything to help. I told him he should come hang out with me... and guess what?! He brought me ice cream... how sweet is that?! It was probably the best ice cream I've ever had. It was nice because while hanging out, he wouldn't let me talk. Thank you for taking my vocal health into consideration... but it was darn hard! We watched "Hitch", a movie I didn't realize I loved quite so much. I was laughing through THE WHOLE THING. Can I just say one thing? Albert Brennaman is my hero.

Yesterday we had Collin King and & Lacy Downing's bridal shower here. The Kings came, and it was great to see them after three years in the missionfield of Georgia! I hid in my room for most of the shower fesitivites, but when things started to wind down I grabbed some food and headed outside. After basically everyone left Collin and Lacy told their dating story and such. It was great to just talk. Matt and Andrea spent the night, and we watched youtube videos. Some pretty good ones I might add. Check this one out! Darn hilarious!

Well sorry for the super long catch-up... but I haven't blogged in forever! Feels good. Ta ta for now!