Tiffany and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Cyst

Yes, I have posted about this cyst before... but I felt it was appropriate for another post (an after-cyst-experienec post, if you will) as I soon get surgery to remove the darned thing. YAY!

Yes, it is true; the cyst in my right vocal cord has made life a living... H E double hockey sticks. I haven't been able to sing fully since last March. Auditioning for parts/shows was embarrassing, because of my cracking smoker voice. And even though I felt like my senior year was ruined, and the timing was awful... I learned a lot about myself.

I learned that life isn't about talents. Yes, it is important to develop your talents, but life isn't based solely on what you can do. There is more to my life than getting up on stage and singing, and I don't think I would have found that out so early if I hadn't had that pesky cyst. I probably would have been in my third year of a vocal performance major, in the middle of a private voice lesson, realized that singing isn't the be-all-end-all. Sure, singing is amazing, and I don't know what my life would be like without it.. but it isn't the most important ability I can ever possess.

I thought all I wanted was to sing and perform the rest of my life... but what do I actually want?

A family.

 Not saying that you can't have a family while being a broadway performer (as I was wanting), but it sure well isn't easy.

While in New York a couple of weeks ago, I had a chance to sit down with some of the cast members of the show Wicked, and ask some questions. A question came up, dealing with the balance of performing and family time. The answer was consistent; "there isn't much time for that sort of thing". When I heard that... I definitely felt my stomach sink. Having a family has always been a must for me, but it was never so apparent as when I was sitting in that theater. I feel my life coming to a crossroads, a time for a decision. I don't know what I would choose if it weren't for losing my voice.
Regional theater is always an option, but you definitely don't need an MDT major to do that. Sure, it isn't broadway, but when you are a performer, it doesn't really matter where, as much as what. I am now planning on majoring in English, as much as I hate to admit it, I guess Mrs. Drake had some sort of impact on me.
I feel like, for me, getting this cyst knocked some major sense into me. No longer is my life going to be about me and what I want, it's now about my future family. Don't get me wrong, I have ultimate respect for MDT majors. The load is definitely not light and they are phenomenally talented performers. It's just not for me. If my child comes home and has a question about 'The Count of Monte Cristo" or the 12 times tables, I don't want to have to say, "I don't know."
So yes, I hated the cyst and the singing ability I lost.. but it taught me things, and let me find things I never would have found otherwise... at least not at this point in my life. I guess my Heavenly Father knew that a gentle nudge in the back of my mind wasn't enough for me to change directions.

So I guess it wasn't THAT Terrible, Horrible, No Good, or Very Bad after all.