Oh, And By The Way

Yes, I have already ordered books for my classes... and I have even started reading Wuthering Heights for English 251. I was feeling pretty good about the idea of college, I was pretty sure I had everything under control. I have half a comforter (soon to be finished) and some dishes, and isn't that all you need?
NO.
Considering the distance from Wyview Park (soon to be my humble abode) and the main part of campus, I knew that some sort of transportation pass was necessary. But do you know what I realized? Two might be more like it. As I will soon be a stupid college student who doesn't know how to get enough sleep, a fast and easy way to get to campus in the morning would be essential (so I can get more sleep). Thus comes in the RYDE shuttle, that will be taking me to campus every morning. My sister soon reminded me however that campus and my apartment are not the only two places I may ever need to go. Crap. Hence I need to get a UTA pass, which would also allow me to get to LDS hospital and the U of U campus for vocal therapy.

And what about exercising? Sure, I'll probably walk home from campus every day... but is that enough? I hear the BYU has the fittest college campus in the nation. Mostly because there isn't any alcohol, but also because the students care about their bodies. This is good and bad. Good because, well, we care about our bodies. Bad, because that means the exercise facilities are always full. A little freshman like me is going to have to get pretty creativity to not put on that freshman 15. I have found some yoga and pilates classes as well as spinning. I could even go for a swim before class. Lucky.
This is only a fraction of the details I need to sort out. I'm one who needs to mentally prepare for everything... and it seems college is just not allowing that to happen. Every time I think I'm getting a handle on what's coming, someone says, "Oh, and by the way... you have no idea what's coming." 

P.S.

This is amazing.

Needles & Things

A couple of months ago I was blessed with a handsome little nephew named Hudson. Unfortunately, there has been a nationwide breakout of the whooping cough and if children, particularly under three months, catch it, it can be fatal. So, today I headed down to the health center to get my shot so I wouldn't have to live my life nephew-less. I fill out the papers, signing away my own life because I'm officially an adult... and guess what? I don't need the shot! Score! I happened to have gotten it in 2006. But my mom decides that going all the way down there without getting a shot was not an option, and she discovered that I hadn't received a vaccination for meningitis. Nice. Thus, I'm all covered for whooping cough and meningitis. Hooray for health!... which usually comes at the price of being jabbed with needles and things.

Addressing Addictions

I must address my addiction and obsession with Richard Armitage. I first became acquainted with him in "North and South". I must admit I fell a little bit in love. I was then browsing through Netflix, looking for something to watch, and what should I come upon but BBC's "Robin Hood"? I'd heard some chatter about it and decided to take it for a go. What a fabulous idea! I found another gem featuring my very own Richard Armitage. And even though he is one of the villains... I kinda wanted him to get the girl. Sad? Possibly. I just couldn't get the image of him being so sweet in "North and South" out of my head. SPOILER: I guess when he stabbed Marian, my heart changed a little. No matter how evil he is in "Robin Hood", I still find him absolutely dreamy. Don't agree? Watch "North and South". That should set you straight.

Oh! And he is going to be in "The Hobbit"!

The Summer Before My Life Began

My entire life up to this point has been about graduating high school. Now that that's done, where do I go? Sure, I'm headed to college soon.. but I've been struggling with the transition period. Where is my life going right in this instant? Am I headed somewhere, progressing? Or just stalling and holding still? This is my last summer of childhood. Life as I have always known it is going to change the minute my parents start the car and leave me in my Wyview Park apartment. Life is never going to be the same again... so I guess I could refer to this as the summer before my life began.
For 18 years it's like I've been playing house, waiting for my turn to try it out for real. Finally, it's time to put on my big girl shoes and quit playing games. That scares me... but my life is all ahead of me. Right now, I can look forward and see so many amazing opportunities and friendships that await me... and I can't wait for it to begin.
I think I've just about got my schedule sorted out for BYU. I made some huge adjustments today to classes and officially declared my major. I feel like I'm growing up, and I pray that I won't fail too epically. I'm worried about a thousand little things; getting a bus pass, finding the classrooms, finding the perfect place to study, etc. But even with all of my doubts and fears, I know it will be the best time of my life. There is nowhere to go but up.. and I intend to.

GO COUGARS!

An Imperfect Science

Yes, I have gone blog happy. And yes, this is another post about my voice.. lame, right?

Surgery is said to be an imperfect science. I even read a book on just that topic last year. Those horror stories would not leave my mind as I lay waiting for a nurse to take me to the OR. Doctors who go into surgery drunk, cut corners, slip some prescription drugs for themselves. I had no idea what to expect.. none whatsoever. Nothing the nurses or doctors told me really made me feel better about being knocked out and my vocal cords being sliced up. Sure, those of you who have had surgery know what it's like... but it was difficult dealing with this situation, not knowing exactly how everything was going to work out.
I checked in a little before 8:00 am and got my sweet hospital bracelet. A nurse led me into a temporary room where I changed into a hospital gown (one of my worst anxieties) and I waited. And waited. Finally, two nurses came in and checked my heart and lungs, and finally... dun dun dun... put in my IV. I thought it was pretty cool! I watched the whole thing. After the nurses left, my parents asked why I had watched... I guess I just couldn't take my eyes off of that large needle getting jammed into my vein. I waited for another half hour, until another nurse came and got me and took us to a "pod" to meet with the two doctors.
The anesthesiologst came in first and talked about general anesthesia and what would happen. Then Dr. Smith came in, the doctor who was actually going to perform the surgery. Blah blah blah. Doctor talk. Then the anesthesiologist gave me a patch behind my ear to help with the nausea that usually occurs in younger girls (i.e. me). While he was wheeling me to the OR, my body started feeling like jello, because he had "slipped" me some stuff when I wasn't looking. IT FELT SO WEIRD! I got into the OR, and they strapped down my arms and put some charger things on me to gauge my heart rate and breath rate. I think they then put a mask on me.. but at about this time... I WAS OUT. It was crazy how fast it happened.
I then woke up in recovery... the absolute worst part of the whole experience. My throat hurt extremely bad, and my mom wasn't there with me. I kinda woke up, but I didn't have my glasses on, which probably made my nausea worse. I was probably in that room, half asleep, for about an hour and a half while they tried to get my pain under control. Finally they took me to a real room, and I got to see my mom and dad.
By the time I left the hospital it was 4:30 pm, and they had given me every kind of nausea medicine they could. The last resort medicine was a shot, but they said it always worked. And it did! I was so happy not to be dizzy and confused. And I was on oxygen... I felt old. Every time I fell asleep, the oxygen or blood pressure bell would go off. Let's just say that the rest in the hospital wasn't the most relaxing I've ever had.
OH! And crazy business... I didn't even have a cyst. What? Once Dr. Smith got down there with a scope and laser, he realized that I had a depression on one side that was causing major nodules. So instead of removing a cyst, he reconstructed my vocal cord and removed a couple of nodules. Isn't that awesome? Doctors amaze me.. he was not prepared for that, but he fixed it without much trouble.. my surgery just went about half an hour longer than predicted. Although surgery is not perfect, and things are always changing... we have some pretty impressive doctors out there.

P.S. I was worried (irrationally) that the anesthesiologist would lose track of how much he had given me and it would kill me. Good news; I'm not dead.

Tiffany and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Cyst

Yes, I have posted about this cyst before... but I felt it was appropriate for another post (an after-cyst-experienec post, if you will) as I soon get surgery to remove the darned thing. YAY!

Yes, it is true; the cyst in my right vocal cord has made life a living... H E double hockey sticks. I haven't been able to sing fully since last March. Auditioning for parts/shows was embarrassing, because of my cracking smoker voice. And even though I felt like my senior year was ruined, and the timing was awful... I learned a lot about myself.

I learned that life isn't about talents. Yes, it is important to develop your talents, but life isn't based solely on what you can do. There is more to my life than getting up on stage and singing, and I don't think I would have found that out so early if I hadn't had that pesky cyst. I probably would have been in my third year of a vocal performance major, in the middle of a private voice lesson, realized that singing isn't the be-all-end-all. Sure, singing is amazing, and I don't know what my life would be like without it.. but it isn't the most important ability I can ever possess.

I thought all I wanted was to sing and perform the rest of my life... but what do I actually want?

A family.

 Not saying that you can't have a family while being a broadway performer (as I was wanting), but it sure well isn't easy.

While in New York a couple of weeks ago, I had a chance to sit down with some of the cast members of the show Wicked, and ask some questions. A question came up, dealing with the balance of performing and family time. The answer was consistent; "there isn't much time for that sort of thing". When I heard that... I definitely felt my stomach sink. Having a family has always been a must for me, but it was never so apparent as when I was sitting in that theater. I feel my life coming to a crossroads, a time for a decision. I don't know what I would choose if it weren't for losing my voice.
Regional theater is always an option, but you definitely don't need an MDT major to do that. Sure, it isn't broadway, but when you are a performer, it doesn't really matter where, as much as what. I am now planning on majoring in English, as much as I hate to admit it, I guess Mrs. Drake had some sort of impact on me.
I feel like, for me, getting this cyst knocked some major sense into me. No longer is my life going to be about me and what I want, it's now about my future family. Don't get me wrong, I have ultimate respect for MDT majors. The load is definitely not light and they are phenomenally talented performers. It's just not for me. If my child comes home and has a question about 'The Count of Monte Cristo" or the 12 times tables, I don't want to have to say, "I don't know."
So yes, I hated the cyst and the singing ability I lost.. but it taught me things, and let me find things I never would have found otherwise... at least not at this point in my life. I guess my Heavenly Father knew that a gentle nudge in the back of my mind wasn't enough for me to change directions.

So I guess it wasn't THAT Terrible, Horrible, No Good, or Very Bad after all.

I Survived

Three years, eight shows, hundreds of rehearsals, thousands of hours of practice and sweat, and one final bow.

Thus is the life of a thespian, which is, an actor/actress. The above mentioned statistics sum up my BHS Musical Theater experience. I was in West Side Story as Betty, a Jet girl. All Shook Up as ensemble. Crazy For You as Irene. Cinderella as the Fairy Godmother. Oklahoma! as Gertie Cummings. And finally, Beauty and the Beast as Silly Girl #1, affectionately referred to as "Regina".

So much time was spent in rehearsals, learning lines, lyrics, and choreography. After all the time that was invested into shows that are now past.. I feel empty. Fairly satisfied by what I have accomplished, but still empty. And terrified.

Life is changing, time is passing. I am graduating high school in less than six months and it feels like yesterday that I walked in as an overwhelmed sophomore. I thought I was so grown up then... look at me now. I'm going off to college soon and will be living on my own, no parents to give me a curfew or to tell me to do my homework. Independence... and responsibility. More than I can even comprehend at this point.

Musical was my high school time keeper. Sophomore year's shows were to get my feet wet, test the waters. The waters felt very good. Junior year was the ridge between immaturity and maturity, or so I thought. I got both of the parts I wanted, and I thought I was unstoppable. Senior year hit a bump in the road, and my musical experience became less than desirable.

A cyst in my left vocal chord? How could this happen? Just as easily as one snaps his finger, my dreams were dashed. Singing was no longer a viable option, and musical became torture.. but I stuck with it. And with the passing of the shows, so passed time. Before I even realized it, it was over. I stepped forward in a line of seniors and took one final bow. Final. Such an incredibly scary word. Last. End. Final. The life I have known up to this point; gone.

When they announce the shows for next year, it won't impact me. Sure, I will come see them... but go through the audition process, possibly callbacks, choreography, dress rehearsals, mic checks, green room, opening night jitters, and striking the set? No.

I'm done with Bountiful High School Musical Theater.

And I survived.